I wish the NBA would get their balls off my chin

I am cursed with a fate I would not wish upon my worst enemy. I am a fan of the Minnesota Timberwolves.

Since the Timberwolves have never had any on-court success, or really anything resembling on-court competence, there are really only one day that a T-Wolves fan can look forward to, NBA Draft lottery day.

It is true that throughout their history the T-Wolves have been their own worst enemy. Inexplicable signings, questionable trades, and downright horrific draft picks (Paul Grant, anyone?) We let Chauncey Billups go and aquired Marko Jaric. We drafted William Avery and Ndudi Ebi. I could go on but decorum prohibits me from doing so.

However, in addition to gross incompetence the Timberwolves have not had any luck. We are cursed by the ping pong ball. Not one time in their history have the Timberwolves had any fortune in the draft lottery. If there were 4 consensus quality players in the draft, the Timberwolves would get the 5th pick. If there were 3 top players, rest assured, your Minnesota Timberwolves would have the 4th slot.

It was because of the ping pong ball that the Timberwolves drafted Christian Laettner instead of Shaquille O'Neal. I need not say more.

This year is no different. With two clear cut top choices in the draft in Derrick Rose and Michael Beasley, and one of those being a near perfect fit for our perpetual rebuilding project (Rose), the scene was set for fate to come in and kick us in the nads once again. She did not disappoint. The kick was swift and hard. The Timberwolves are picking third in this year's draft.

I was hoping that there would be some 'buzz' generated by getting one of the top two picks and all summer long throughout the Twin Cities we would hear the common refrain, "Who's it gonna be, Rose or Beasley?"

We will not be having those conversations, or likely any conversations for that matter regarding the draft. When the question arises as to who one thinks the Timberwolves should draft, rather than a spirited Beasley-Rose debate, we will be forced to utter things like, "I don't know, that one Italian guy, I guess."

This is hardly the recipe for revitalizing interest in a languishing franchise. Thanks a lot ping pong balls.


That One Italian Guy

So, it's either the Italian Guy, some big guy from Stanford, OJ Mayo, or any number of other players not named Rose or Beasley.