A little too close to home

McSweeney's.

I'm sure they'll be saying that after they win the World Series

It is known that Johan Santana is Father Hennepin's favorite active baseball player is Johan Santana. So you can take this prediction with a grain of salt:

Your 2008 World Series Champions will be the New York Metropolitans.


Slate has an article arguing why the Red Sox and Yankees were fortunate not to get Santana. I have read similar articles that basically say that yes Santana is one of the best pitchers in baseball but the money and the amount of years in his contract, not to mention the personnel that were required to acquire Santana are too steep a price.

First of all, Santana is not "one of the best pitchers in baseball." He is THE BEST PITCHER in baseball.

Second, in acquiring Santana, the Mets did not give up one major league ready player and also retained their top prospect. They have not one, but two, MVP candidates in Wright and Reyes and a scary good lineup.

Third, the Mets (and the Yankees and Red Sox for that matter) can afford Santana's contract and the accompanying risk of a long term deal with.

I point this criticisim more at the Yankees than the Sawx. Hughes/Chamberlain/Kennedy are not Johan Santana. They are Kris Benson. They are Gil Meche. Enjoy missing the playoffs.

William F. Buckley

William F. Buckley died yesterday. This is a blow to conservatisism. I neither dismiss nor do I embrace conservatism as a political ideology. From my observation, however, conservatisim has undergone a rift between the small government, libertarian, individualism expressed by intellectuals like Buckley and the wrap yourself in the flag, evolution is a scam, school prayer, kick out the foreigners brand of 21st century conservatism.

Perhaps someone fill the intellectual leadership void left by Buckley. It would do well for our nation's discourse.

Breaking News: Requiem for a Decent Burger Place

Maxwell's in downtown Minneapolis caught on fire today.

I was sitting in class when I got an Instant Message from a friend who lives and works downtown:

Her: Maxwell's is on fire!

Me: What did you do?

Her: It wasn't me, but it's in flames.

Me: Holy Shit

Her: I know, no more Burgers

Me: Unless you like them really, really, well done

RIP Maxwell's

And the train kept a rollin'

10 in a row. My biggest fear is that as the Clinton camp grows more desperate the threat of Rove-like tactics increases. She needs to win Ohio and Texas decisively. It appears that it least in Texas a win may possible, but a decisive win isn't going to happen. Obama appears to be making serious inroads in Ohio as well

Here is a take on Hilary's chances and options:

http://pmcarpenter.blogs.com/p_m_carpenters_commentary/2008/02/were-now-down-t.html

Money Quote:

"There is nothing left but strained, over-the-top shenanigans in the service of pulling off a mathematically impossible fantasy.
That, or a polite, reasoned withdrawal in the interest of faits accomplis and party unity, leaving her, in eight years, still nearly four years younger than the current Republican nominee.[...]
She can now stay mired in the silliness and do the party a whole lot of damage, or she can crawl out of it and do the party and herself a whole lot of good.
She can, that is, simply withdraw now. The test of Wisconsin was whether Obama would continue taking occupation of virtually every demographic territory once so confidently held by Mrs. Clinton. He did, and he did it decisively."

(H/T: Sullivan)

Experience

Bill Clinton, 1991, talking about the role of experience.

Dwight Howard Superman Dunk

I can understand that not everybody like sports. I can understand that not everybody likes basketball. I can understand that not everybody likes the slam dunk contest.

But...

This should be appreciated by EVERYONE for what it is. Beauty.

Dwight Howard's display of athleticism on Saturday night was a thing of beauty.

Enjoy.

My Theory

I have been keeping an eye on this story, the United States is planning on shooting a spy satellite down as it falls to earth.

As I understand it the reasons for intercepting the satellite rather than letting it fall to earth are twofold.

1) It contains sensitive spy information that the United States does not want to see fall into the wrong hands. Presumably they mean the Chinese, the Russians, or the Trinidadians and Tobagonians.

2) The satellite debris could potentially be harmful. This has something to do with toxic gas or alien jism or something.

I would think that there is a third reason for this course of action, though I have not seen this as an official reason in the reports or the literature.

3) It could hit somebody in the head.

However, I suspect there is yet another compelling reason why the United States government has chosen this particular course of action, though they won't admit it:


4) It's gonna be super cool to watch us shoot that som' bitch down.

Worstest Holiday Forever

Last night. Valentine's Day. Friend's Birthday.

A large group of people were meeting at Sweeney's in St. Paul. I didn't want to go, but I kind of did. I wound up going, promising myself it would be an early night. I was just not in the mood.

Just. Not. In. The. Mood.

We arrived. I was with two buddies, they got carded at the door. I was given the international "it's ok pal, I don't need to check your ID, you are obviously way north of the age of 21. Are these your sons?" wave of recognition.

I need to start hanging out with people my own age.

We ordered a pitcher. I went over to wish the birthday girl a happy birthday. I could have called it a night then and there. I should have called it a night then and there.

Scartlett Johannson was at this bar when she was in town a few weeks back. She wasn't there last night. I know because I looked for her.

Midnight came at went. I wanted to leave. I was "the ride." So, being "the ride," I couldn't. At least not in good conscience.

Closing time. Last call. Bright lights. Finally.

Closing time in a bar on Valentine's Day is as depressing as it gets. Nobody seemed to be feeling love, or even lust for that matter. No, check that. I know this gay guy who is part of a couple. He and his significant other seem to be in love. They are cuddling in a both across the room. Those happy fuckers. Maybe I should try being the gay.

"The Ride" put his foot down:

"Alright you assholes, anyone that is coming needs to get their ass in my car right now goddamit."

This firm and steady resolve didn't last very long, I was talked in to driving the group to Jimmy John's. I was assured that my kindness and patience would be rewarded.

"I am totally buying you a sandwich."

We went inside. Everyone was loud. Drunk.

"I hope they call the cops and we get arrested." I thought.

No such luck.

I ordered my sandwich. The girl who was totally going to buy it for me was in the bathroom. I paid for my own sandwich.

I got home and got a whole 3 and a half hours of sleep.

Happy Valentine's Day.

A Valentine's Day Song

Here you go, a Valentine's Day song for you all.

Atmosphere "Fuck You Lucy"

"Fuck You Lucy"

Leave me never would you, if you should could I live [6x]

She said that she still wants a friendship
She cant live her life without me as a friend
I cant figure out why I'd give a damn to what she wants
I dont understand the now before the then

Most of this garbage I write
That these people seem to like
Is about you
And how I let you infect my life
And if they got to know you
I doubt that they would see it
They'd wonder what i showed you
How you could leave it
A friend in Chicago said that I should stay persistant
If I stay around, im bound to break resistance
Fuck you lucy for defining my existance
Fuck you and your differences

Ever since I was a young lad
With a part time dad
It was hard to find happiness inside of what I had
I studied my mother
I digested her pain
And vowed no woman on my path would have to walk the same
Travel like sound across the fate ladder
I travel with spoon to mix this cake batter
And i travel with feels so i can deal with touch
Its like that
Thank you very much
Fuck you very much

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Fuck the what happend
I got stuck
They can peel pieces of me off the grill of her truck
Used to walk with luck
Used to hold her hand
Fell behind and played the role of a slower man
I wanna stand on top of this mountain and yell
I wanna wake up and break up this lake of hell
I feel like a bitch for letting the sheet twist me up
The last star fighter is wounded time to give it up
On a pick it up mission
Kept it bitter
Getting in a million memories just to forget her
The difficulty in keeping emotions controlled
Cookies for the road
Took me by the soul
Hunger for the drama
Hunger for the nurture
Gonna take it further
The hurt feels like murder
Interperate
The eyes
Read the lines on her face
The sunshine is fake
How much time did i waste?
Fuck you lucy for leaving me
Fuck you lucy for not needin me
I wanna say fuck you
Because i still love you
No, im not ok
And I dont know what to do

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is
And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Do I sound mad?
Well I guess im a little pissed
Every action has a point
Five points make a fist
You close em
You swing em
It hurst when it hits
And the truth can be a bitch
But if the boot fits
I got an idea
You should get a tatoo that says warning
Thats all, just a warning
So the potential victim
Can take a left and safe breath
And avoid you
Sober and upset in the morning
I wanna scream Fuck you Lucy
But the problem is i love you Lucy
So instead
Ima finish my drink,and have another
While you think about how you used to be my lover
(Fuck you)

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Yes
Yes it is

And everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love
Everyone in his life would mistake it as love

Leave never would you, you show could I if.....

Potential for Awesomeness = Infinity

Though I am waiting for a film adaptation of "The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay" an adaptation of another of Michael Chabon's novels is in the works. The Coens are adapting "The Yiddish Policeman's Union"

"No, We Can't"

On the heels of the wins last night, our endorsement, and the "Yes We Can" video, here is the McCain response.

The actors looks of horror and confusion are priceless.

(H/T: LGM)

The Endorsement

There is comfort and safety in being politically moderate and independent of party. We moderates are not wedded to candidates only because they share roughly the same ideology or because they were annointed by the leadership as the party's candidate.

Moderates can support someone like Chuck Hagel, while disavowing any and all affiliation with someone like Michelle Bachman. We can admire Al Gore and dispise Ted Kennedy. Some view this middle road position as a position of cowardice, of being that of a fence sitter.

I disagree. Independence is a position of strength.

I am pro-choice. I believe in a person's right to bear arms, though with reasonable restrictions. I am in favor of a strong protections of the environment. I support strong national defense. I am in favor of allowing persons of the same sex the right to marry. I am skeptical of the U.N. I think the healthcare system in the United States is in need of serious reform. I am truly undecided on the death penalty.



I have voted for both Republicans and Democrats. There have been instances when I was proud of my selection. However there were many more times when I regretted my selection.

All of this is a very roundabout way of saying that when I vote, it can have as much to do with the person than it does about their policies. I refuse to feel guilty about this.

Personality does matter. Especially in an executive position, personality does matter. Qualities of leadership, character, charisma, and the ability to, dare I say, inspire maybe difficult to quantify, they may be ethereal in their nature, but that does not mean they do not exist. And we face a time in our nation's history when character and integrity are more important know than ever. The last 8 years have seen this country lost from its moorings. Cynicism and doubt reign. Now, more than ever, we need to be inspired, we need to believe in what America is and what it can be in the future. This is why Father Hennepin is endorsing one candidate and one candidate only for President:

We call for all Americans, regardless of political stripe to embrace hope and to deny doubt. To vote for change over stasis and to stand for unity rather than divisivness.

Vote Barack Obama '08.

Much more will be said on this blog on the election and on the issues and on the candidates. But for today, right here and now, Father Hennepin is excited about his candidate. It's a feeling of hope and inspiration that has been all too foreign to him in regards to politics and politicians.

Random Thought of the Day

I am going to punch the next person in the face who uses the phrase "party like a rockstar" in my presence.

Why am I just learning about this now?

MNSPEAK has a thread on strategies for revitalizing downtown. The topic of street vendors came up which lead to the desire for Poutine.

"Poutine is a dish consisting of French Fries topped with fresh cheese curds and covered with gravy and sometimes other additional ingredients. The freshness of the curds is important as it makes them soft in the warm fries, without completely melting. It is a quintessential Canadian comfort foot, especially but not exclusively among Quebecois."


God I love you, Canada. This, in addition to Gretzky, more than makes up for bringing us Dan Ackroyd and Avril Lavigne.

Oh God, I hope they are talking about roosters

"Video posted of Pedro, Juan Marichal at cockfight"

Wiener poopie

Barack Obama - Yes We Can

9th and Hennepin

Well it's Ninth and Hennepin
All the doughnuts have names that sound like prostitutes
And the moon's teeth marks are on the sky
Like a tarp thrown all over this
And the broken umbrellas like dead birds
And the steam comes out of the grill
Like the whole goddamn town's ready to blow...
And the bricks are all scarred with jailhouse tattoos
And everyone is behaving like dogs
And the horses are coming down Violin Road
And Dutch is dead on his feet
And all the rooms they smell like diesel
And you take on the dreams of the ones who have slept here
And I'm lost in the window, and I hide in the stairway
And I hang in the curtain, and I sleep in your hat...
And no one brings anything small into a bar around here
They all started out with bad directions
And the girl behind the counter has a tattooed tear
One for every year he's away, she said
Such a crumbling beauty, ah
There's nothing wrong with her that a hundred dollars won't fix
She has that razor sadness that only gets worse
With the clang and the thunder of the Southern Pacific going by
And the clock ticks out like a dripping faucet
til you're full of rag water and bitters and blue ruin
And you spill out over the side to anyone who will listen...
And I've seen it all, I've seen it all
Through the yellow windows of the evening train...